When someone is going through a season of grief or suffering, we often find ourselves responding with clichés and platitudes like, “be strong,” “everything happens for a reason” or “you’ll get over this.” Despite our well-intentioned (or in some cases misguided) reasons for using them, platitudes are actually counterproductive to the goal of providing comfort and encouragement. Why is that? And what can we do to offer sincere and meaningful support instead of platitudes?
Mental health stigma is cause for concern, but this is especially the case when it exists within faith-based communities, as it often does in Christian culture. Being directly associated with something as sacred as our shared faith, these forms of stigma produce even deeper layers of confusion and shame for those struggling with mental health. This occurs despite the fact that mental illness is just as prevalent among Christians as it is within the general population and is just as prevalent among church leaders as among any other member of a congregation. For something that is exceedingly normal, why do we as Christians so often treat it as something that makes us unfit or unworthy?
No friend is perfect, and similar to every individual, each friendship is unique and may bring out different sides of us. Some friendships last a season, while others may last a lifetime. However, healthy friendships tend to have certain things in common regardless of those differences. Here are some “green flags” to look out for in your friendships and reflect on as you consider the type of friend you want to be to others.
As the excitement of a new year fades, many of us find ourselves discouraged by resolutions we haven’t been able to keep. Rather than responding with guilt and self-criticism or just scrapping your goals altogether, we want to share a few questions that can help you pause, reflect, and clarify what you are working toward.
When we are struggling with difficult emotions, it can feel as though God is not with us or for us at all. This can be especially difficult during the holiday season when we feel as though we should feel “merry and bright.” But the miracle of the Incarnation - the very thing we anticipate throughout Advent and celebrate at Christmas - actually takes on profound significance in those very same hard places. It assures us that Jesus knows the burdens of our hearts and minds not in some distant or abstract sense, but intimately and personally, because He chose to take them upon himself for our sake.
For many of us, winter is not always the wonderland we hope or expect it to be. As the weather gets colder and days get darker, our mood often follows suit. Fewer daylight hours and drops in temperature can also mean increased feelings of sadness, irritability, isolation, and fatigue. And although we can’t control the weather, we can take steps to decrease depressive symptoms and improve our overall mood this coming winter.
For many people, the holidays can bring up anxiety, sadness, distress, or a sense of overwhelm. With the fun and festivities of the season can also come painful memories, tense conversations, and complicated relationships. If this is something you’ve struggled with in the past, here are some practical ways to prepare for and protect your mental health this upcoming holiday season.
Difficult changes are often marked by ambivalence, resistance, and uncertainty. It can feel like some part of us is bought in and ready for the change while another part of us is still holding back. So what should we do about that? Do we just dismiss it, get over it, power through it? More often than not, this produces the same kind of half-hearted change that does not really take hold. Instead, the key to meaningful and lasting change is to acknowledge our ambivalence and explore both sides of it, that is, the part that is ready for change and the part that is not yet ready. We need to deal with the things that we are still holding onto and recognize the role that those things continue to serve in our life in order to be able to move on from them.
The local church has a unique potential both to help and to hurt (often unintentionally) traumatized persons. Being known and cared for within a redemptive community that is rooted in the power of the gospel can enable traumatized persons to experience deep healing, integration, and resilience. At the same time, the real life complexities of community are rife with potential triggers and grievances and vulnerabilities that can cause it to feel unsafe and even adversarial to a person affected by trauma. Furthermore, the intense emotions and disruptive behaviors that are stirred up by trauma can be difficult for a community to withstand, which may then lead to the traumatized person being (or at least feeling) shamed and alienated. Clearly this is thorny ground for both the person and the community. And yet...even so...traumatized persons need the church, and the church in turn needs traumatized people.
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