Change That Doesn't Last

Change That Doesn't Last

Difficult changes are often marked by ambivalence, resistance, and uncertainty. It can feel like some part of us is bought in and ready for the change while another part of us is still holding back. So what should we do about that? Do we just dismiss it, get over it, power through it? More often than not, this produces the same kind of half-hearted change that does not really take hold. Instead, the key to meaningful and lasting change is to acknowledge our ambivalence and explore both sides of it, that is, the part that is ready for change and the part that is not yet ready. We need to deal with the things that we are still holding onto and recognize the role that those things continue to serve in our life in order to be able to move on from them.

Trauma-Informed Pastoral Care

Trauma-Informed Pastoral Care

The local church has a unique potential both to help and to hurt (often unintentionally) traumatized persons.  Being known and cared for within a redemptive community that is rooted in the power of the gospel can enable traumatized persons to experience deep healing, integration, and resilience.  At the same time, the real life complexities of community are rife with potential triggers and grievances and vulnerabilities that can cause it to feel unsafe and even adversarial to a person affected by trauma.  Furthermore, the intense emotions and disruptive behaviors that are stirred up by trauma can be difficult for a community to withstand, which may then lead to the traumatized person being (or at least feeling) shamed and alienated.  Clearly this is thorny ground for both the person and the community.  And yet...even so...traumatized persons need the church, and the church in turn needs traumatized people.

Re-Authoring Your Story

Re-Authoring Your Story

Consider your life as a story. What chapter are you in the middle of? What have you, the protagonist, had to go through to get where you are now? Who are the key characters who have influenced you, and who do you rely on now? Where is your story going, and what obstacles stand in the way? Narrative Therapy provides a way for people to shape the stories about their experiences, relationships, and lives in order to make sense of and find meaning in the world.

How To Be Angry

How To Be Angry

Anger has the capacity to be constructive and purposeful, but more often it becomes destructive and vengeful.  To avoid such negative outcomes, we could withhold or suppress our anger entirely, but this tends to produce resentment and passive-aggression which ultimately lead to equally negative results over time. So what are we to do with our anger?  How can we defuse the destructive aspects of anger so that its constructive and important aspects can be clearly expressed?

The Need for Margins

The Need for Margins

In a literal sense, margin is the open space circumscribing the writing on a piece of paper.  It designates the space that the writer is not supposed to write in.  It is intended to create a tidy boundary that contains the content of the rest of the page.  Without margins, the page would feel overcrowded, overwhelming, confusing, and possibly illegible, even if filled with lots of good content. Margins in life serve the same kind of purpose – to keep the busyness and fullness and necessity of life (all of which might be very good and important stuff!) from overflowing beyond its proper place and invading the open spaces that allow such valuable work to be sustained.

5 Ways to (Actually) Practice Silence

5 Ways to (Actually) Practice Silence

We know that finding space for peace, quiet, and stillness is somehow essential for our souls. But it can seem so elusive, almost as if the whole world is conspiring against us being able to ever really experience it. Or maybe it’s something within ourselves that keeps driving us away from silence. If this describes you too, then I want to encourage you to recognize all of the small ordinary moments that are actually available to you throughout most days and simply allow them to be silent.

The Inner Critic

The Inner Critic

Self-talk can be used as an effective form of self-motivation and self-regulation, but, when dominated by the voice of the inner critic, its effect is anything but helpful.  It tends to keep us feeling defeated, alienated, and exhausted.  Moreover, the inner critic distorts our view of self so that we begin to define ourselves more by our perpetual insufficiencies rather than the absolute and unchanging sufficiency of God’s love for us.  So what can be done to put this inner critic in its rightful place and better align our self-talk with the realities of God’s love for us? Our team shares their own personal insights and practices on this all-too-familiar challenge.

 

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