Self-talk can be used as an effective form of self-motivation and self-regulation, but, when dominated by the voice of the inner critic, its effect is anything but helpful. It tends to keep us feeling defeated, alienated, and exhausted. Moreover, the inner critic distorts our view of self so that we begin to define ourselves more by our perpetual insufficiencies rather than the absolute and unchanging sufficiency of God’s love for us. So what can be done to put this inner critic in its rightful place and better align our self-talk with the realities of God’s love for us? Our team shares their own personal insights and practices on this all-too-familiar challenge.
Listen Carefully
Listening is an exercise in love and humility. It requires us to recognize the sacred image of God that even the most infuriating among our so-called enemies possesses as a fact of his or her existence. It requires us likewise to remember our own human fallibility and finitude, that our knowledge and understanding are incomplete unto themselves. By listening, we are putting two essential beliefs into practice: 1) the other person matters and therefore they matter to me and 2) the other person might just have something important that I need to hear through them.