Anger has the capacity to be constructive and purposeful, but more often it becomes destructive and vengeful. To avoid such negative outcomes, we could withhold or suppress our anger entirely, but this tends to produce resentment and passive-aggression which ultimately lead to equally negative results over time. So what are we to do with our anger? How can we defuse the destructive aspects of anger so that its constructive and important aspects can be clearly expressed?
Listening is an exercise in love and humility. It requires us to recognize the sacred image of God that even the most infuriating among our so-called enemies possesses as a fact of his or her existence. It requires us likewise to remember our own human fallibility and finitude, that our knowledge and understanding are incomplete unto themselves. By listening, we are putting two essential beliefs into practice: 1) the other person matters and therefore they matter to me and 2) the other person might just have something important that I need to hear through them.
As someone who made a major career change from the business world to seminary, I have had to ask myself what exactly is my identity and calling? For many years, although I knew deep down that my identity was rooted in being a “child of God,” I had been falsely identifying with my career, job title, salary, travel, etc. As I come towards the end of my seminary journey, I am beginning to understand finally that my true identity lies with my relationships.
Love is a commitment to caring for another person who is just as imperfect as you are. A commitment that requires hard work when difficulty arises. Love means forgiving when hurtful mistakes are made. It often requires a level of sacrifice to self for the good of the other person and the good of the relationship. Here are some concrete ways to put love in action amidst difficulty.
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