Difficult changes are often marked by ambivalence, resistance, and uncertainty. It can feel like some part of us is bought in and ready for the change while another part of us is still holding back. So what should we do about that? Do we just dismiss it, get over it, power through it? More often than not, this produces the same kind of half-hearted change that does not really take hold. Instead, the key to meaningful and lasting change is to acknowledge our ambivalence and explore both sides of it, that is, the part that is ready for change and the part that is not yet ready. We need to deal with the things that we are still holding onto and recognize the role that those things continue to serve in our life in order to be able to move on from them.
How To Be Angry
Anger has the capacity to be constructive and purposeful, but more often it becomes destructive and vengeful. To avoid such negative outcomes, we could withhold or suppress our anger entirely, but this tends to produce resentment and passive-aggression which ultimately lead to equally negative results over time. So what are we to do with our anger? How can we defuse the destructive aspects of anger so that its constructive and important aspects can be clearly expressed?
Listen Carefully
Listening is an exercise in love and humility. It requires us to recognize the sacred image of God that even the most infuriating among our so-called enemies possesses as a fact of his or her existence. It requires us likewise to remember our own human fallibility and finitude, that our knowledge and understanding are incomplete unto themselves. By listening, we are putting two essential beliefs into practice: 1) the other person matters and therefore they matter to me and 2) the other person might just have something important that I need to hear through them.
Loving Assertiveness
The New Normal
Our Identity and Calling (Part 1)
As someone who made a major career change from the business world to seminary, I have had to ask myself what exactly is my identity and calling? For many years, although I knew deep down that my identity was rooted in being a “child of God,” I had been falsely identifying with my career, job title, salary, travel, etc. As I come towards the end of my seminary journey, I am beginning to understand finally that my true identity lies with my relationships.
The Struggle of Love
Love is a commitment to caring for another person who is just as imperfect as you are. A commitment that requires hard work when difficulty arises. Love means forgiving when hurtful mistakes are made. It often requires a level of sacrifice to self for the good of the other person and the good of the relationship. Here are some concrete ways to put love in action amidst difficulty.







