Often in the counseling office, I find that we as Christians can regard the word ‘assertive’ as a negative trait. For some people it seems to contradict an idea of meekness or gentleness. I often hear the phrase ‘turn the other cheek’ used as an example of a teaching that contradicts assertiveness as a Christlike characteristic. However, assertiveness is the healthiest, most loving, and I would argue, most Christlike way to communicate. Here’s why…
Listening is an exercise in love and humility. It requires us to recognize the sacred image of God that even the most infuriating among our so-called enemies possesses as a fact of his or her existence. It requires us likewise to remember our own human fallibility and finitude, that our knowledge and understanding are incomplete unto themselves. By listening, we are putting two essential beliefs into practice: 1) the other person matters and therefore they matter to me and 2) the other person might just have something important that I need to hear through them.
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