When someone is going through a season of grief or suffering, we often find ourselves responding with clichés and platitudes like, “be strong,” “everything happens for a reason” or “you’ll get over this.” Despite our well-intentioned (or in some cases misguided) reasons for using them, platitudes are actually counterproductive to the goal of providing comfort and encouragement. Why is that? And what can we do to offer sincere and meaningful support instead of platitudes?
The local church has a unique potential both to help and to hurt (often unintentionally) traumatized persons. Being known and cared for within a redemptive community that is rooted in the power of the gospel can enable traumatized persons to experience deep healing, integration, and resilience. At the same time, the real life complexities of community are rife with potential triggers and grievances and vulnerabilities that can cause it to feel unsafe and even adversarial to a person affected by trauma. Furthermore, the intense emotions and disruptive behaviors that are stirred up by trauma can be difficult for a community to withstand, which may then lead to the traumatized person being (or at least feeling) shamed and alienated. Clearly this is thorny ground for both the person and the community. And yet...even so...traumatized persons need the church, and the church in turn needs traumatized people.
Very often in counseling sessions, I hear from clients a form of the sentiment, “I know that God is all powerful, loving and good, but I doubt He is like that with me.” This is related to experiences that point to feeling forgotten by God, or overlooked by Him, or worse, being punished by Him for not being ‘X’ enough. Recently in my personal study of the Word, I was looking deeply at the book of Ruth, and the plight of Naomi struck me as echoing what my clients often express…
Sign up for our FREE monthly newsletter to receive practical tools, proven resources, and the very best insights that our team has to offer. Let’s bridge the gap between faith and mental health together and grow in wisdom, resilience, and hope in the midst of whatever challenges you are facing.
