Written by Dan Brown, MA (Director of Operations, Senior Clinician)
The pandemic has been difficult. But one of the biggest things that the pandemic has taken from us all is a sense of normal. Normal birthday parties, normal dinners out with loved ones, normal soccer games. Normal.
But as we return to normal we have to realize that we will not be fully ourselves either. Over the course of the last year, we have regressed or adapted to the restrictions or just flat out avoided people using the pandemic as a convenient excuse. We have been socially conditioned. We might find ourselves feeling awkward or have heightened anxiety anytime there is a group gathering on our calendars.
Or maybe you’re someone who has some codependent tendencies and are anxious to be around anxious people. When I say codependent tendencies I mean you might be one that always wonders how you’re being perceived in a group and will ruminate for hours/days on how a social situation went. So social situations seem like something you’d like to pass on for another year or ten.
Or maybe you’re someone who has used the pandemic to avoid people that seek to control you or overburden you. And you can see these types of people from a mile away and when you are around them you start to get a knot in your stomach. Potentially now after the pandemic those people became even more controlling and more overburdening. I am sure this last year has been better for you getting a year long break from these types of interactions.
The reality is that life is going to go back to what we remembered as normal. Schools, churches, work places and the like. So what is next for you in these settings? Do you just return to those old ways? As a mental health provider I see this as a unique time in human history to make big strides in your ongoing social anxieties because you’ve had such a big pause in exposure to them. You might be able to identify people that are just flat out unhealthy for you to be around and might consider not being around them as much. Or you might be able to draw some boundaries with people that you weren’t able to draw boundaries with before because you’ve had a little distance with them and free from their manipulations. And for those people that seek to control you or overburden you, you might now for the first time be able to say stop, no more.
Our society needs friendship. Our society needs grace in those friendships. Our society needs positive social interactions that allow people to be “off” and not our best. Our society needs normal again.
Good thing Jesus continues to be seated and the right hand of God the Father living in perfect unity, in perfect friendship with the Father and the Holy Spirit. There is no overburdening of the other going on there. No guilt tripping going on in the Godhead. They see the end of this and allowed the beginning of it to happen. And I believe they want people to start being normal again too.
Mental health starts with realizing your own mental unhealth. Then you can move to make a change with your therapist and then realize those changes with friends, family and those around you in your community. We all have our weaknesses. But we don’t all admit those weaknesses. I am proud you have admitted yours or are starting to admit yours and are ready to make changes. Maybe you will not just return to normal but to a new normal.