When Sleep Won't Come

Written by Day Marshall, LMHC (Senior Clinician)

Have you had those nights when sleep is evasive? When you shift in bed and adjust your pillow, throwing off or adding on layers of cover? Apart from general, good sleep hygiene practices such as keeping a regular sleep schedule, setting the tone for sleep with lighting and calming activities, sometimes it can feel like there is little to be done when our minds keep wandering once the lights go out. Based on what clients often tell me, I think that often the anxiety of not falling asleep is the primary culprit keeping us awake.

While there are numerous ways to help increase the ability to sleep, I want to introduce you to one method that is a favorite of mine.

Our brains are remarkably made and incredibly adaptive. Every sensation we experience, be it sound, sight, taste, smell or touch, is communicated to us by our brains. Therefore, if my brain is thinking about stressors, my body will naturally tense up and likely go into problem-solving or worry mode.  However, if I focus my mind on the most serene and relaxing environment I can imagine, my whole body begins to relax. Using anti-anxiety grounding techniques when lying in bed can provide relaxing, sleep-inducing benefits.

I like to begin with deep breathing; long, slow, full breaths and exhales. While I deep breathe, I begin to visualize myself in a relaxing place. I’ll share mine with you, but you’ll need to get your own because my place is relaxing because no one else is around for miles!  My serene place is a warm beach with pristine sands devoid of all bugs and the only human is me.  I lie on my back facing up toward the perfectly warm sun. I feel the gentle give of the sun warmed sand beneath my body. I can drag my fingers over it and dig my fingers into it and feel the cool under the surface. The gentle ocean breeze dances over my skin and I can feel it on my face and on my arms and legs. The trees around the beach quietly rustle their leaves in response to that wind, and there are myriad birds singing in chorus high in the trees. I listen to the waves coming in and going out; a gentle, reliable rhythm. I can taste the mixed sweet and tang of watermelon and pineapple. There is a crackling campfire burning in the near distance. I smell the wood burning as it mixes with the salt air. I am still deep breathing and taking in all the sensory wonders of the beach serenity. If my mind begins to pull away to a worry or stressor, I gently but firmly draw it back to the sensory experience of the beach. The smells, the sounds, the sights, the feel and the tastes of my beach retreat become weightier than the worries and stress that it lulled away. In the midst of all of this, sleep generally comes quietly.

Sleep well!