ORIGINALLY RELEASED AS THE FEBRUARY 2026 EDITION OF THE HERE & NOW NEWSLETTER (CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE)
Written by Jessica Abraham, LMHC (Senior Clinician)
When we talk about relationships, we often gravitate to conversations about romantic partners or familial bonds. But what about friendships? Friendships are a pivotal part of our community and connections throughout different stages of life. As C.S Lewis once said, "Friendship is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”
And yet, despite how important they are, we often don't take the time to consider whether our friendships are healthy, or whether we are ourselves are a healthy friend to others.
No friend is perfect, and similar to every individual, each friendship is unique and may bring out different sides of us. Some friendships last a season, while others may last a lifetime. However, healthy friendships tend to have certain things in common regardless of those differences.
Here are some “green flags” to look out for in your friendships and reflect on as you consider the type of friend you want to be to others:
Dependable & Constant (Proverbs 17:17)
A healthy friend is one that you can rely on in the good times and the bad, not just when it's convenient. They are dependable, reliable and constant; in that, even if you are in different seasons or stages of life, you know you can reach out to them for prayer and support, and similarly carry their burdens alongside of them.
Empathetic & Compassionate (Romans 12:15)
A true friend, is emotionally attuned to your inner world and vice versa. What grieves you, grieves them. Similarly, a true friend rejoices in your victories and accomplishments alongside you. A healthy friend does not stir up competition, nor do they minimize your pain.
Open & Honest (Proverbs 27:6)
As Scripture says, the correction or honesty from a friend, although painful, is far more valuable than someone who only says what you want to hear. Covering the truth in the name of "love" often enables harmful behavior. A healthy friend loves you enough to be honest with you and invites you to do the same (Proverbs 27:17).
Mutual Respect & Vulnerability (Galatians 6:2)
A true friend is transparent and vulnerable with you, and fosters the safety needed for you to be the same. Healthy friendships reflect a balance of mutual sharing and mutual respect; recognizing that even when you have your differences, you are both equally made in the image of God; carrying innate worth and value.
Joy & Patience (Colossians 3:12-14)
In the presence of a true friend, you feel comfortable being yourself and experience joy and laughter. Additionally, a healthy friendship is marked by patience for one another and an awareness that as seasons change, our capacities may look different and that's okay (Ecclesiastes 3:1).