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Written by Kara Bickhart, MA (Clinician)
As the excitement of a new year fades, many of us find ourselves discouraged by resolutions we haven’t been able to keep. Rather than responding with guilt and self-criticism or just scrapping your goals altogether, we want to share a few questions that can help you pause, reflect, and clarify what you are working toward.
We know that lasting change is not gained through sheer willpower or determination alone. True growth is an ongoing process full of ups and downs, trial and error, stops and starts - all of which is covered by the grace that we receive in Jesus who alone is perfect and whose power is made perfect in our weakness. So we hope these questions will help you move forward in that truth.
1) Did I choose this goal because I wanted it…or because I felt like I should?
Sometimes we make goals based off of what we think others would want from us, instead of truly reflecting on how we actually want to make change.
2) Is this goal realistic for the season of life I’m in right now?
We have really good intentions and goals, but if you’re not in the right season, it can be almost impossible to achieve them.
3) Does this goal align with my values or is it pulling me further into burnout?
Maybe you’re a very productive person and feel a sense of control from being able to achieve goals. But sometimes the strength lies in your ability to rest. If your goals are not aligned with your values, you will lack motivation to achieve those goals.
4) What obstacles are getting in the way?
Is it fear, exhaustion, lack of support, lack of a plan? These indicators can help us understand the nature of our frustrations, and take steps towards fixing them.
5) Have I broken my goal down into small sustainable steps?
Who doesn’t like to dream big? But if you don’t create small sustainable steps that lead to you achieving the bigger goal, you might get very overwhelmed and want to give up.
6) Do I need to adjust my goals instead of abandoning them all together?
Oftentimes when we feel like we’re failing, we want to give it all up. The reality is you’re not failing - you’re learning what works and what doesn’t. If something is not working, make a shift and try something different.
What now?
Remember, you already have what it takes to achieve your goals! You just need to intentionally build the right mindset and support. A reset is not a failure - it’s the starting point of something new.