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Written by Jessica Abraham, LMHC (Senior Clinician)
For a number of folks, the holidays can often bring up anxiety, sadness, distress, or a sense of overwhelm. This is because with the fun and festivities, can also come painful memories, tense conversations, and complicated relationships. If this is something you’ve struggled with in the past, here are some practical ways to prepare for and protect your mental health this upcoming holiday season.
Consider Your Priorities
Take some time to reflect and determine 1-2 things you would like to prioritize this holiday season. Is it quality time with loved ones? Rest? Enjoying traditions and hobbies? Once you have an idea of what your top priorities are, look ahead and intentionally carve out space and time for these things amidst the busy season.
Accept and Embrace Imperfection
While this might be easier said than done, one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves is to have fair and realistic expectations this holiday season. As you gear up for the holidays, remind yourself that it is not only okay but actually healthy and normal for there to be imperfections.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries help us remember that we are limited beings. This can be especially helpful during the holidays where there is the added pressure of traveling or hosting, reconnecting with various friends and family members, and added financial stressors. Take some time to consider your boundaries ahead of time, and jot them down as helpful reminders to check back in on as needed.
Regularly Check In with Yourself
Take a moment at least once a day to ask yourself, “On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the most overwhelmed or distressed I have been, and 1-3 being calm and regulated), where am I at?” If you find yourself on the lower end of the scale, great! If you find yourself on the higher end, ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do for myself right now that will help me move downone notch on this scale?” In doing this, we are setting realistic expectations as well as meeting ourselves with compassion. This is also a helpful tool to encourage others to check in with themselves as well. Having a “temperature gauge” for how everyone is doing can be a helpful indicator of what might be the best activity to do next. Maybe it’s an outdoor walk or a nap, or maybe it’s time for everyone to get a chance to do something on their own for a bit.
Use the “Art of Distraction”
Create a list of topics that you feel comfortable discussing for when things are feeling hostile or overwhelming. This is not to say to avoid hard conversations but rather to recognize the difference between difficult conversations that are based on mutual respect versus arguing for the sake of arguing. When conversations no longer feel mutually respectful, it can be helpful to revisit a topic that feels more stable and appropriate through the art of distraction. An example of this can look like, “Wow, that’s interesting! Speaking of interesting, have you heard of _____?”
These practical steps help us to approach the holidays proactively and mindfully, which in turn allows us to be more compassionate towards ourselves, as well as those around us.