process

Benefits of Expressive Writing (Part 2)

Written by Day Marshall, LMHC (Senior Clinician)

When I wrote Part 1 of this post, I had no idea the turns that life would present in the space between writing Part 2. However, as God’s will so consistently demonstrates, it is perfect and provides opportunities for growth and strengthening of faith if we have the willingness to embrace it.

In recent months, one of my most beloved friends was diagnosed with cancer, and his prognosis continues to worsen as treatments are applied and tests are run. In the midst of this, my Dad died quite suddenly. As my emotions and mind play leapfrog, trying to find reason while being overcome with floods of feelings, I have used journaling to express the inexpressible. Writing out my incomplete and complex fears, anger, questions, regrets, and sorrow has been powerful. It is, at its core, lament; a way of expressing our hearts and innermost self to God himself. Though it is entirely possible to lament verbally, the benefit of lamenting in writing is profound. It forces me to slow down just a bit; to allow each thought and feeling to linger a bit longer and to be examined a bit more closely. The few seconds it takes to print a word give the brain an extraordinary amount of neurological time to process the thought. The nanosecond required to realize that a thought exists is slowed down and the thought is held under a magnifying glass while the thought goes through the neurological process of moving to the writing part of the brain and transmitting the impulses to the fingers to form the letters or push the keys. This produces a visual representation of the thought before the eyes, which is then uploaded into the visual part of the brain for further processing.

The lament I experience, once expressed in journaling, allows for the powerful part of the exercise to take place — the peace. In taking the time to lay those emotions and thoughts out on the table, so to speak, I am able to move to a place of rest. In a sense, I’ve spoken my truth; I’ve expressed my pain, anger, grief, fear, loss. This clears the way for my heart to find some peace. It is here that entering into a place of expressing gratitude and hopefulness becomes more meaningful, or perhaps at some points, it is what allows it to be possible.

Thinking About Problems

Written by Matt Warren, LMHC MDIV (Executive Director, Senior Clinician)

What are your goals in seeking counseling?  This is a question that we ask early and often in the counseling process, from the initial intake interview on through the various stages of growth and progress.  To go anywhere meaningful, we need to understand more than just what is unwanted, unhealthy, painful, or dysfunctional about the way things currently are.  Identifying these presenting problems or concerns is important, to be sure, but we also need to develop at least some sense of how those things ought to be instead.  What would be desirable, healthy, healing, functional…sound familiar?  By sketching out these goals and aims for counseling, we will know more clearly where to focus attention, what issues to prioritize, and how to measure progress along the way.

Of course, constructive goal setting is easier said than done.  Our presenting problems can feel so complex, so intractable, so deeply rooted, and so overwhelming that the idea of setting a goal can seem like an empty and arbitrary form of fairy tale thinking.

“I just want to feel better…happier…or at least just not like this.”

“I want to fix our marriage, but it’s been so bad for so long.”

“I know I need to be a better person, but I doubt anything will ever really change.”

Perhaps you have felt this way before.  We all have at some point in time.  From a biblical perspective, we recognize that the pernicious nature of sin, which exists within us and all around us, would very much like for us to remain stuck in this sort of mindset.  If we remain stuck in a sense of futility or confusion or bitterness or hopelessness or even some elusive and abstract idea of “happiness” (as in, the kind that is not in any way grounded in “real life”), then we will be successfully impeded from experiencing the fullness of life that God desires for us.  Thinking this way about our problems is just as destructive to our souls as thinking that we have no problems whatsoever.  Thinking this way about our problems keeps us from grappling with the realities of the gospel – that Jesus has fully atoned for our sins and shortcomings, that his power is made perfect in our weakness, that his mercy is real and substantial in the midst of our greatest pain and hardships, that his saving work is meant to produce real and transformative (though often unexpected) change in our lives. 

How we think about our problems and, even more so, how we think about change and growth in the midst of those problems is of critical importance.  So what are your goals for counseling?